How to Not Waste Your Summer
Why is prioritizing so freaking hard?
Hi all,
Hope you are all settling into a beautiful summer. Just a quick note about what I’ve been thinking about since I dropped my kids off for three weeks of sleepaway camp last Sunday.
Ever since, I’ve been wrestling with the quintessential question: Work hard or play hard?
Should I go heads down and grind? Finish the essay I want to submit for publication, tear through a long-neglected punch list in the kids’ bedrooms, clean out my closet, practice my neglected Spanish?
Or, would that be a waste of all my “free time”? Should I, instead, live a life of leisure I never seem to have quite enough time for? Lunch dates with every friend I can drum up. Take solo trips to the city to see art exhibits. Float with a magazine in the pool. Binge-watch all the shows I never have time to watch.
Honestly, having all this extra freedom has been a bit anxiety-provoking.
What combination of ambition and relaxation will leave me most satisfied?!
When I sat with this question yesterday, I recognized the feeling behind it. A familiar pressure to get it right.
I know that when I start to feel that pressure, I’m caught in a false loop. I’m imagining there’s some “perfect experience”—ie, a perfect summer—that I could have, if only I make the “right” choices. I start to ruminate over whether or not I’m doing what I should be doing.
But #perfectsummer isn’t ever happening. Because it’s not real.
When I step out of the binary thinking of work vs. play, I’m able to think more broadly about happiness, which social scientist Arthur C. Brooks says is part enjoyment, part satisfaction, and part meaning.
I can ask myself better questions:
How do I want to experience joy today?
How do I want to experience challenge or struggle that will help me grow today?
How do I want to experience love today?
Because the truth is, I can experience joy, satisfaction or love whether I’m busily to-doing around the house or putting my feet up on the couch.
And that is real freedom.
I struggle with this every summer. During my time off (I’m a HS teacher) how can I use my time? I always have big plans, esp regarding my writing. Trying to balance creative productivity and recharging for the new school year is challenging to navigate.
I love your questions!