Saying Goodbye to Late-Night Scrolling
An Experiment to Make Bedtime More Ease-y
Today we have the tale of not just one, but two daring Experimenteers!
, who runs the lovely space , a must-subscribe for those of us stepping into the life’s unknowns with courage and curiousity, and , who runs , a newsletter of intriguing, playful experiments that help us find delight, awe, and ease in the in-between times of life.This month, Marika invited Mika to team up and hit the bedroom hard in the name of science! Together, we undertook a mission to discover what it takes to break-up with scrolling too late into the evening, and to truly embrace bedtime for the sake of better sleep and more rested, delightful days!
The Experiment
This experiment was born at a Four Seasons, where Marika first experienced the wonders of something called “turndown service.”
If you’ve never had a turndown service, the idea is while one is out touristing or working hard in boring conference meetings all day, hotel employees that are genuine, certified fairy godmothers, come to your room to smooth your bed, and put out slippers, and lay out toiletries on a towel next to the sink, and dim the lights just so before you return to your room. They even leave a chocolate on your pillow so you can savor a bit of sweetness before slipping off to sleep!
The experiment we decided to try was this: Might it be possible to stop nighttime scrolling and other bad bedtime habits by becoming our own turndown service fairy godmothers?
Desired Results
Go to bed at a decent time
Create an evening routine that can easily be stuck to (and even enjoyable!)
Break the late-night scrolling habit
Feel refreshed and rejuvenated in the morning (no more feeling guilty in the mornings)
More peace, delight and creative energy!
Defining the Problem
The “Before”: What were your evening routines like before beginning this experiment?
I often went to bed late, and would wake up feeling guilty for not going to bed earlier. I lacked energy and motivation during the day, so would often go to bed with my to-do list unfinished, guilty. It felt like I was caught in a guilt sandwich!
I knew I needed to go to bed earlier, but when it came to it, I would turn on my laptop or iPad to “relax”, “just for just a little bit”, and would end up quickly falling down a random rabbit hole (that would always feel important at the time), staying up too late which I would call my “bender”!
I was feeling particularly run down, so I knew things needed to change.
Yes, that “bender” sounds all-too-familiar. I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes! I spend the whole day groaning about “how tired” I am, how much I want to rest. Then, when it’s bedtime, I just. don’t. want. to go to sleep!
I read about something called “revenge reading” when people (mostly moms!) stay up late reading because they are wanting to claim more time for themselves at the end of the night. That’s definitely me. But the things I choose to do–scrolling, etc.—definitely do not end up delivering that release and relaxation I truly crave at day’s end!
Experiment Launch
How did you start implementing a new nighttime routine?
When I think of a turndown service, I think of luxury, relaxation and pampering.
So the first thing I did was dig out and find my favorite pajamas, wash them, and lay them on my pillow ready for the evening.
This led me to spending a few minutes each morning to make my bed, tidy the bedroom and layout my pajamas so it felt inviting when I returned at night.
In the evening, I got ready for bed earlier, turned off technology, dimmed the lights in the bedroom, or lit a candle, and put on some lovely calming music.
Ooh, I love that word, “pampering”!
I realized that I was landing in my bedroom each night quite wired. I wondered if it were possible to somehow step my energy down gradually over the course of my various bedtime tasks.
I decided to think of my bedtime routine as a sort of pilgrimage, with stops along the way that I could arrange from the highest energy to the lowest energy, preparing me for the final destination–sleep! During my first “stop,” getting out my workout clothes for the next morning, I let myself slam the drawers shut, hurry around my bedroom, and generally let myself be as “bustle-y” as I wanted .
But, for the next stop, getting into my pajamas, I decided to bring my energy down with a little mindful narration, talking to myself as I peeled off the day’s clothes.
“Now I’m taking off my socks. Now I’m taking off my shirt. Now I’m putting on my pajama bottoms.”
It sounds silly, but it worked surprisingly well to help me downshift my energy into the rest of my nighttime routine! I think of it as the difference between gently tapping the brakes a few times before a stoplight up ahead, versus trying to slam them on the minute my head hits the pillow.
Experiment Discoveries
How did your evenings begin to change?
Often I got everything set up for nighttime in my bedroom–pajamas,lights, and soft music just so–then I’d go into the bathroom to wash my face. When I’d open the door and step back into the bedroom, I had the feeling of surprise and delight as if someone who loved me very much had prepared the room just for me! It was quite magical!
But I must admit, at the start I found it difficult to adjust to a new, earlier bedtime. Although I was relaxed, I didn’t feel tired enough to fall asleep. That's when I remembered something that worked wonders for me in the past – listening to Jane Austen books via "The Sleepy Bookshelf" on Spotify. (I highly recommend it. They have other titles like Anne of Green Gables, Journey to the Centre of the Earth, Jane Eyre and many many more.) It was so calming and I felt my body (and brain!) slow down. It was a game changer.
I noticed that the longer I did the turndown experiment, the easier it was to fall asleep, which was an unexpected bonus. Another bonus, I found myself less and less on my phone in the evening!
Of course, there were a few late-night YouTube binges – but instead of beating myself up, I simply dusted myself off and got back on track. I had to remind myself that self-care is all about extending grace to myself: to be my biggest cheerleader, not my harshest critic.
Omg, yes, giving ourselves grace! Falling asleep is in essence a corporeal experience. So anytime I’m “up in my head” it’s extremely hard to fall asleep.
There was a day during the experiment where I made a mistake I felt ashamed about. When I lay down that night, I was still carrying that shame, and began ruminating about both the mistake and about the shame. I decided to incorporate some visualization as a last step in my routine.
I closed my eyes and imagined I was lying in a warm stream of love that flowed over and around me. Then, I imagined holding the mistake I’d made that day in my right hand, which I saw as a lotus flower, and the shame I felt about it in my left hand, also a flower.
I reached out to set my mistake and my shame afloat on the stream as it flowed past. I watched as the flowers drifted further and further into the distance, and was able to let go of the moment and offer myself some self-compassion and forgiveness.
Experiment Results
What do you feel you've learned through trying this experiment?
As I settled into this new evening routine, something amazing happened. I found myself looking forward to bedtime! Whether it was slipping into my cozy pajamas, indulging in a chapter of a Jane Austen audiobook, or simply enjoying the sweet oasis I created. Each night felt like a pamper night.
And the best part? The ripple effects!
Surprisingly, I started waking up before my alarm! This was a big departure from waking up groggy or guilt-ridden. I loved it!
I had time to do my morning routine, which included writing and planning my day. This went a long way to setting myself up with clear intentions and a clear mind. Things seemed to go smoother during the day.
I also noticed I got more creative ideas and I actually had the energy to carry them out!
Thanks to the turndown experiment, I was able to swap my late-night scrolling with a wonderful gift of self-care.
Yes, I also think my favorite part of the experiment is looking forward to bedtime, which I really have never felt before! I love having things “pre-decided” about what I’ll do and at what time, so I don’t have to expend extra cognitive energy I really don’t have at the end of busy days.
Also, having my own routine to manage my nighttime energy really helps with managing my two tweens at bedtime. Instead of expending everything I have to help them get off to bed, then crashing myself, I’m starting my own routine earlier and interleaving my own self-care tasks with shepherding them through theirs, so that I have just the right amount left over for myself when they’re finally down!
Want to try creating your own turn-down service?
We had such a great time rethinking our evening routines. Here are a few more ideas for creating your own turndown service from Marika:
Decide on a one or two ways you can take extra-consideration of your comfort during the bedtime process (slippers so your feet don’t have to touch the cold tile, waiting for the water to get warm instead of rushing through with cold water, etc.)
Remember, your body is a sacred container, so washing it is a sacred act. Perhaps as you wash your face, face full of suds, you can imagine you are preparing to “wash away” your day. Look down into that drain and ask yourself, “What am I ready to rinse off from today?”
Take a minute to plump up the pillow and fold the covers back invitingly.
When you lie down, feel their coolness of the sheets or the weight of the blanket while you breathe.
Maybe give yourself a hug
Say a blessing of gratitude for the angels that helped you make it through this day.
Say a blessing for yourself, for all you’ve done that has brought you to this moment.
Tell us in the comments: How would you rate your own evening routine?
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And a HUGE SHOUT-OUT to Mika for designing these amazingly cute graphics for our collaboration!
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I loved this experiment, and the ideas that you tried out, bounced back and forth, and shared with us.
I have looked forward to Bed (I capitalize it on purpose!) since I was very little. Having my parents read to me, and reading to myself as I learned how, made it wonderful. In my family, we all agreed that not getting enough sleep made us weepy and irritable.
I have never stopped loving Bed. My 2 cats are now as familiar as I am with my work week bedtime routines. When I turn the bath water on and light the candle, one cat leaps up into her spot in the towel closet in the bathroom and the other hops up onto my bed. I pour Epsom salts and a few drops of essential oil into the bath as it’s running, floss, and then brush for the full two minutes (I’ve newly recommitted to this habit!) I turn off the bathroom light, and when the water has cooled down enough so I can (just about) tolerate it. I soak for 7-10 minutes. Aaaaaaaaah
My pjs are on the towel rack waiting for me, and on a good night I’m in bed with lights out by 8:30. The cat who’s already on the bed climbs on me and settles in, and the one in the towel closet joins us soon after and curls up by my feet.
I’ll often listen to some guided affirmations on a downloaded file in my phone (with the phone in airplane mode) or before turning off the lights I’ll read for a few minutes
Aaaaaaaaand…. on not so good nights, lights off is after nine. I’ll FaceTime my partner — he lives three hours away — from bed. And then Of course I’ll start scrolling after we’ve said good night, even when I tell myself I won’t.
Now to work on:
Not straying too far from the Bed routine on the weekends
FaceTiming before Bed.
Doing the Four Seasons turn down (LOVE this idea) while the bath is running
Thanks again!!
Love this! I find myself also preparing for the evening by starting with the morning! Making sure I make my bed and put my PJs away nicely. I also live by my Hatch which really helps me wind down with a great meditation before my sound machine starts. Another way I need to work on slowing down though!!