What a beautiful, poignant, REAL piece. Sending big hugs. I know this writing will provide comfort to someone who needs it. Hopefully the writing provided you some comfort, too.
I'm so sorry she wasn't helpful. and agreed with Heidi, there's no right way to do this except be a support if you can be. sending you strength.
I used to work on a boat and we docked near the Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum in St. Michael's, MD. they have a lovely YouTube channel if your dad hasn't already discovered it with lots of people working on lots of interesting boats. they're master restorers and some really crazily historic ships have been there. anyway, if you search for them on YouTube you'll find people doing all sorts of restoration work.
My mother and I cared for my father who was suffering from a malignant aggressive brain cancer, for a couple years. I lived with my mother, and my two kids and my husband at the time. the last six months he was bed bound and didn't know who we were or where he was. We put a huge postit on the wall saying you are home, you are safe. He was also skin and bones and unbelievably heavy. It was an incredibly difficult time. We had just lost my best friend, sil (husbands sister, brothers partner of 17 years) to metastatic breast cancer after she fought for a couple years. I wish you the best and hope you can continue to support your mother during this difficult time.
Oh, Marisa, I am so sorry for what you are going through. This piece took me back to the experience of losing my ow beloved dad, slowly, piece by piece to Parkinson’s. I learned for the first time during that time that there is such a thing as anticipatory grief. It is this time, the in between.
Beautifully expressed. Dangling paragraphs are the true expression of the life you and your Mom are in right now, and an effective way to write.
Losing a parent is difficult. Losing a parent to such a wretched illness is even worse.
I’m so sorry that hospice hasn’t provided any true assistance. Please call the local office and express your concerns about the untrained person they sent to visit you. They should have a licensed therapist on staff who makes those types of calls. And if they do not, please feel free to dm me. I’ll help as much as I am able.
The frustration on both ends of communicating sounds completely exhausting. Having your Dad still cognizant to attempt to communicate yet not able to bring out the words he wants is pure torture for all involved.
There were times at the end of both my parents passing in hospice that playing music helped soothe them. It might help your dad if he is particularly unsettled. (If he liked music) I found that music from their teen years and /or college years helped the most. And sometimes hymns (they both were church goers) Tony Bennet and Frank Sinatra were played on repeat.
You have been saying goodbye on some level every time you see your Dad. Grief becomes an uninvited guest during this time… overstaying its welcome, making a mess, never really coming nor going.
The best we are able to do when we are in the in-between places is to show up, cry when we need to, feed ourselves and take breaks. There are no rules here, no must haves, nor must dos.
I love that you’re comforting yourself and honestly me too with your father‘s own words to you! The… And your writing makes perfect sense to me. It feels like you’re trying to walk in his footprints as the snow melts.
The goodbye you knew was coming. And here it is. Happening in the not -yet -but- almost stage. Just as you write about so beautifully- this is the in between of having your dad still with you as he slowly makes his way to the doorway of his transition. As others have said, there are many of familiar with this who send you enormous support and hugs. You have the Gracefulgrit to be with him now, show him love and muster the courage and grit to allow him to go.
You're doing great. There's no right way to do this. And you're doing great. 💛
What a beautiful, poignant, REAL piece. Sending big hugs. I know this writing will provide comfort to someone who needs it. Hopefully the writing provided you some comfort, too.
Thank you for sharing your precious heart with us. Sending you so much love, my friend.
Love you. ❤️🩹
I'm so sorry she wasn't helpful. and agreed with Heidi, there's no right way to do this except be a support if you can be. sending you strength.
I used to work on a boat and we docked near the Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum in St. Michael's, MD. they have a lovely YouTube channel if your dad hasn't already discovered it with lots of people working on lots of interesting boats. they're master restorers and some really crazily historic ships have been there. anyway, if you search for them on YouTube you'll find people doing all sorts of restoration work.
My mother and I cared for my father who was suffering from a malignant aggressive brain cancer, for a couple years. I lived with my mother, and my two kids and my husband at the time. the last six months he was bed bound and didn't know who we were or where he was. We put a huge postit on the wall saying you are home, you are safe. He was also skin and bones and unbelievably heavy. It was an incredibly difficult time. We had just lost my best friend, sil (husbands sister, brothers partner of 17 years) to metastatic breast cancer after she fought for a couple years. I wish you the best and hope you can continue to support your mother during this difficult time.
Oh, Marisa, I am so sorry for what you are going through. This piece took me back to the experience of losing my ow beloved dad, slowly, piece by piece to Parkinson’s. I learned for the first time during that time that there is such a thing as anticipatory grief. It is this time, the in between.
BIG hugs, Marika. Sitting alongside you with my big mug of tea. No response needed. You know where I am if you need me.
Beautifully expressed. Dangling paragraphs are the true expression of the life you and your Mom are in right now, and an effective way to write.
Losing a parent is difficult. Losing a parent to such a wretched illness is even worse.
I’m so sorry that hospice hasn’t provided any true assistance. Please call the local office and express your concerns about the untrained person they sent to visit you. They should have a licensed therapist on staff who makes those types of calls. And if they do not, please feel free to dm me. I’ll help as much as I am able.
The frustration on both ends of communicating sounds completely exhausting. Having your Dad still cognizant to attempt to communicate yet not able to bring out the words he wants is pure torture for all involved.
There were times at the end of both my parents passing in hospice that playing music helped soothe them. It might help your dad if he is particularly unsettled. (If he liked music) I found that music from their teen years and /or college years helped the most. And sometimes hymns (they both were church goers) Tony Bennet and Frank Sinatra were played on repeat.
You have been saying goodbye on some level every time you see your Dad. Grief becomes an uninvited guest during this time… overstaying its welcome, making a mess, never really coming nor going.
The best we are able to do when we are in the in-between places is to show up, cry when we need to, feed ourselves and take breaks. There are no rules here, no must haves, nor must dos.
I love that you’re comforting yourself and honestly me too with your father‘s own words to you! The… And your writing makes perfect sense to me. It feels like you’re trying to walk in his footprints as the snow melts.
The goodbye you knew was coming. And here it is. Happening in the not -yet -but- almost stage. Just as you write about so beautifully- this is the in between of having your dad still with you as he slowly makes his way to the doorway of his transition. As others have said, there are many of familiar with this who send you enormous support and hugs. You have the Gracefulgrit to be with him now, show him love and muster the courage and grit to allow him to go.
Sobbing. Sobbing! So much beauty and heartbreak, this life, this every single in-between moment. Thank you for helping me remember that today.
Sending you my love, Mija. Your dad is also in transition. You’re in a full circle moment. I wish you peace.
Besos.
Thinking of you in this huge transition.