Changing My Life: Self-Discipline

How do you get yourself to do the thing you don’t feel like doing?

Hi there, it’s Marika. I’m here each week with experiments to uncover the delight, awe, love, ease, and worth-full-ness that might be hiding in the in between times of life. I’m happy to be popping up on your screen today!

This week’s post is part of my monthly series “Changing My Life” where I identify some routine, app, podcast, book, or idea that’s been changing my life. I’d love to hear what’s changing your life this month?

And read to the end to get more info and RSVP for our next WONDER✨SHOP coming up on March 13! Let’s tackle those pesky in between times at work together!

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Tell the truth. When you look at your calendar and see what you’ve scheduled yourself to do, are you a person who often thinks:

I don’t feel like doing that right now.

Meh, I’m going to do this other thing that seems more urgent instead.

Okay, I’ll do it, but in 15 minutes after I do this other thing… (45 minutes later, still haven’t started the main thing.)

I’ll tell you a secret. This has 100% been me my whole life. I never thought I would be writing a post with the word “self-discipline” in the title.

I don’t even like that word.

But… in the last few weeks, I’ve found myself magically, miraculously, for once-in-my-life showing up and doing the things I say I’m going to do, at the time I say I’m going to do them.

And, yes, it’s been changing my life this month.

I’ve really only made a few tweaks to be able to do it. A couple of tweaks are related to how I calendar my tasks for the week. If you’re interested, I can talk about that in a future post.

But for today, I’ll talk about a different weird shift I think has helped a lot:

Just Do It: The Power of Body Doubling

Honestly, the secret sauce to my self-discipline this month has likely been something called “body doubling.” Research shows that having people around while you work can increase your focus and ability to get things done. Body doubling serves as a kind of background accountability that gently encourages your brain to focus.

I started using a virtual co-working space called Flow Club this month, which I am now addicted to. I started on the 7-day free trial, using about 25 sessions in the 7 days, then bought the yearly plan, but you don’t have to pay or use Flow Club to get the focus benefits of body doubling. There are body doubling Facebook groups and Discord channels you can check out. Or finding a coffee shop or calling a friend as you do a task can also work!

In Flow Club you schedule 1-3 hour sessions called “Flows” which are available throughout the day. Each Flow has a definite start time and end time, which really helps if you’re someone like me who endlessly puts off starting tasks or easily gets lost in rabbit holes, thus never gets to “the end.”

Another thing I like about Flow Club is that folks use it for all kinds of activities, not just what you might typically think of as “work”. Drinking enough water, cleaning house, reading, or exercise can all be a part of your “flow”! It’s a very balanced way of thinking about time management, the goal of which, to my mind, is to be able answer ‘yes’ to the question:

Did I spend my time in the way I intended today?

I want to end with a disclaimer: I am not into hustle culture. In fact, I’m currently writing a book about how to break-up with toxic productivity mindsets, anda how I finally figured out how to stop thinking I have to “get things done” to somehow earn my worth.

However, I do have creative dreams I want to see fulfilled. I love challenging myself with new projects and learning new skills. And damn it, I want to help people!

All of that takes showing up and getting work done—with courage, self-compassion, and, yes, self-discipline.

Have you ever tried body doubling?? Did it change your life? Leave a comment and tell me about it!

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Annnd speaking of getting work done… How about a WONDER✨SHOP that helps us overcome the stress and overwhelm of work’s in between times?

Whether you define “work” as a 9-5 office thing or a banging out words on your laptop in your pajamas thing, or a chasing little people and scraping mac and cheese off the floor thing, we all have “work” to do every day, and there are lots of in-between moments in there that we just aren’t living that we could be.

I invite you to join us for 15 transformative minutes on March 13th where you will learn:

🚀 How to rescue yourself from your S.O.S. moments—when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or stuck—so you can get back up and nail your day.

🚀 How to harness the power of your imagination to fuel the delight, ease, and yess! you want to feel at work.

🚀 The #1 reframe that takes my work days from Blech to Yess (and sends my focus and productivity through the roof!)