The Bad News About Delight
Update on Experiment #10
Hello! I’m Marika, and I’m here every week with experiments in discovering the delight, awe, love, ease and yess! that can be found in our in-between times.
This week I have an update on Experiment #10 to squeeze more squirts out of the delights we experience every day!
I love having you here, reading along, and would LOVE to hear what delighted you this week or in the past month? Comment below! ❤️
Well, y’all, I was able to lean in and squeeze just a bit more delight out of a few moments this past month!
-pausing to enjoy the shadows falling across my backyard as way they sharpened on the rock patio then blurred across the blades of grass across the lawn
-my daughter’s proud grins over her new, more grown-up haircut
-a long, warm hug from my husband
-the delight of stillness when I lay down for an afternoon rest after a busy Saturday of cleaning and organizing, with nary a leaf blower in earshot
But overall, February turned out to be much harder than I though it would be.
How hard? Well, it’s March 16, and I’m only now looping back to my update on February’s experiment!
Mostly, I experienced more daily frustration than I bargained for, ironic for a month that was supposed to be all about experimenting to find more delight.
The details aren’t too interesting. I was wrestling with an essay. The writing was not coming easily. (In my experience, when you’re a writer, and the revision is going shit, it’s easy to slip into thinking all of life is going shit.)
Also, I had a run of days where I didn’t sleep well, and it turns out delight can be pretty darn elusive when you’re exhausted. So, that’s the first thing I learned: if you want to experience more delight, perhaps start with a nap.
But, there was another challenge I encountered as I attempted to uncover and squeeze more delight out of my days.
It turns out that multitasking is a DESTROYER of delight.
If I was out for a run with my AirPods, listening to a podcast or catching up on a recorded call, and I happened to spy a blossom’s bud or a glint of sunlight in a puddle, my sense of delight was muffled, barely landing as I shuffled on by.
If I was out running errands while also preoccupied and ruminating about the 16 other things that needed to be done that day, or if I was taking my phone out of my pocket and scanning my email every three minutes, it was hard to get a joy jolt from the baby giggling in the stroller nearby.
If, at night I splashed my face with warm water and broke out the fancy lavender face cream, but simultaneously agonized over the daily mom pickle of fulfilling my own commitments while ferrying my kids where they needed to go the next day, the delights of the water, the smoothness of the cream, were lost to me.
Delight comes to us as a tiny hum, a faint spark awaiting a mere whisper of our attention to kindle it into a flame. This kindling is hard to come by when we’re switching rapidly from task to task, or when we’re completely “up in our heads,” lost in ruminating or catastrophizing thoughts.
I guess the good news is that now I know the bad news, I can do something about it.
The younger version of me—the perfectionistic, all-or-nothing, gold-star-or-nothing version—would have taken this “problem” and immediately set a goal to “Eliminate All Multitasking at Once!”
The current verson of me—more whole, realistic, and self-compassionate—knows that ain’t gonna happen.
So, I took out my calculator. Turns out that 1% of the minutes I’m awake each day comes to 10 minutes. This past week, I committed to spending the first 10 minutes of my shuffles through the neighborhood headphone-free, taking in my surroundings, open to sparks of delight that might be calling to me.
I bet you can guess what I found. And it was delight-full.
A Few More Reads on Delight
reminded me about “artist dates” and how their purpose are pure delight. If you’re looking for something a bit more than what you can get in your in-between times, check out her recommendation. Lots of interesting tarot-based insights on delight at the end of this post. 
And this piece on the Duty of Delight by
was an incredibly thoughtful and insightful read.
And this piece on delight in parenting by
was a beautiful challenge.
“It turns out that multitasking is a DESTROYER of delight.” - yes!
When I’m fully in the moment, wow, I can feel the 100% delight.
With ADHD, our minds are often whirling, so it’s a good reminder to start meditation to practice creating a bit of space so the delight can have a chance to flourish.
I find it indescribably challenging to just... be. To not be listening to an audiobook or podcast when I walk, or when I watch my kid's sports practice from the sidelines. To not have a notebook in my hand for making lists or trying to catch some of the elusive thoughts that blow through my mind. To not pull out the phone and check for that one email or chat or text.
Challenge accepted.