I love this re-framing of desire as choice-- when you stop to reflect, your circumstances are (mostly) aligned with your desires, because... you chose them! What a beautiful way to find gratitude and peace amid the chaos of life.
Thanks Leanne! I set an alarm to ask myself every 2 hours or so “What do I want to do?” It’s surprising how often the answer is “exactly what I’m already doing at this moment.”
That's how to do it! I don't go to that extreme (I'm betting you don't either, except for that one week) but I do have a "daily reflection" practice that helps me put the most important things front and center. It's part of my morning journaling.
Wow, this is an amazing post! I love it. Also, I'm going to start rephrasing my questions to one of my children who always takes them as hostile. I bet it'll make a lot of things smoother.
“It turns out that when I give myself the chance to choose, I actually want the responsibilities and tasks of the life I’ve signed up for.” Interesting! Thank you for pointing this out! It’s true, but hard to believe! 😂 I also try to schedule some of those fantasies as well like trips I want to make (going to Italy in March) and I give myself an uninterrupted “lazy” hour on Saturday and Sunday to do nothing (read and snuggle with my dog) and a long breakfast before hitting the chores.
It *is* so hard to remember sometimes! Lazy hour sounds lovely. Usually on Sundays I have a long list of things I want to "do", then give myself permission to do none of them. But I really have to lean into the permission or it feels like I'm not doing what I "should".
It occurs to me that it’s good to have two questions in our reflective arsenal—What do I want (in this moment) is something you and I have practiced thanks to a brilliant retreat leader (yes YOU, @JenniferLouden)! But “Do I want to THIS?” is also powerful. And oh, so helpful!
I love this re-framing of desire as choice-- when you stop to reflect, your circumstances are (mostly) aligned with your desires, because... you chose them! What a beautiful way to find gratitude and peace amid the chaos of life.
Thanks Leanne! I set an alarm to ask myself every 2 hours or so “What do I want to do?” It’s surprising how often the answer is “exactly what I’m already doing at this moment.”
That's how to do it! I don't go to that extreme (I'm betting you don't either, except for that one week) but I do have a "daily reflection" practice that helps me put the most important things front and center. It's part of my morning journaling.
Wow, this is an amazing post! I love it. Also, I'm going to start rephrasing my questions to one of my children who always takes them as hostile. I bet it'll make a lot of things smoother.
Thanks so much, Erica! It’s been a valuable experiment. “Would you be up for doing ____ , either now or in 10 minutes?” Is my go-to at the moment! 🙏
“It turns out that when I give myself the chance to choose, I actually want the responsibilities and tasks of the life I’ve signed up for.” Interesting! Thank you for pointing this out! It’s true, but hard to believe! 😂 I also try to schedule some of those fantasies as well like trips I want to make (going to Italy in March) and I give myself an uninterrupted “lazy” hour on Saturday and Sunday to do nothing (read and snuggle with my dog) and a long breakfast before hitting the chores.
It *is* so hard to remember sometimes! Lazy hour sounds lovely. Usually on Sundays I have a long list of things I want to "do", then give myself permission to do none of them. But I really have to lean into the permission or it feels like I'm not doing what I "should".
All of this so true. When and where did we learn to not follow what we desire? To not feel worthy of what we desire?
Great question. I'm not sure, Kathryn. It's from an early age for sure...
lol I can relate to you and your son having been in both places at different times.
Yes, Judy it's so common. Strange how powerful agency and choice can be, and how disruptive it is when we feel it's threatened!
So good! Thank you! What a softening this realization can create. 🙏
It occurs to me that it’s good to have two questions in our reflective arsenal—What do I want (in this moment) is something you and I have practiced thanks to a brilliant retreat leader (yes YOU, @JenniferLouden)! But “Do I want to THIS?” is also powerful. And oh, so helpful!
Yes! They have slightly different flavors, don't they Cathy? Both provide helpful reflection and intention...