Who's the Boss? (Experiment #4)
This week’s experiment is brought to you by the letter B.
B is for boss. As in, “Be a Boss.” Or maybe, “Be a Better Boss.”
You see, I’ve set myself up with a tasty treat of a writing deadline for the next six weeks.
Doable? Sure.
Easily? Maybe, AS LONG AS I DO WHAT I SAY I’M GOING TO DO WHEN I SAY I’M GOING TO DO IT.
That’s the rub, right?
I get all the aims and happenings of my hodgepodge week plotted out just so on the candy-colored google calendar, and then… BAM! The day ends and I look back in a daze, wondering what in the heck happened.
Life happened, of course—kid-interrupting, home-management-needing, email-inbox-demanding, something-is-lost-or-broken-so-now-it-is-your-job-to-drop-everything-and-fix-it L.I.F.E. Also, my human brain happened—the squirrel-addled, procrasti-preferencing, dopamine-questing brain that wants to be entertained! distracted! comfortable! safe! lazy work-avoidant!
When you’re working on a goal for yourself, it can sometimes feel like wandering the wild, wild west with no sheriff in sight. I realize that my brain (and my life) could use a bit of supervision, so I thought I’d try an experiment this month called, “Be my own boss.”
But I’m not going to be one of those jerky, belittling, passive aggressive work-is-the-only-thing-that-counts kind of bosses…
I’m also not interested in being one of those hands-off, “Do your thing! Whoops, I see everything’s going to sh*t, but you go ahead and figure it out, I’m not interested in hearing anything about it or contributing to any kind of solution!” kind of bosses.
The question is: How can I be my own best boss as I work toward this deadline?
As I reflected this week, I remembered a boss I once had who called me into their office to let me know that I’d been making faces during a meeting while my colleagues were in a discussion.
My boss asked if I was aware I was making faces while my colleagues spoke (I wasn’t) and pointed out that as a person in a position of leadership in the organization, any response on on my part carried a bit more weight, so I’d probably want to be more aware in the future.1
I remember feeling embarrassed and a little annoyed (why was my boss watching my face instead of the colleague who was talking?), but I also walked away from the conversation with a deeper respect for my boss because I think it demonstrated the characteristics of the best bosses:
Keep your eye on the big stuff. This boss was incredibly clear on the culture of communication they wanted to maintain in the organization.
Sweat the small stuff that’s part of the big stuff. But not in a way that makes folks feel ashamed or like they can’t make mistakes.
Ask questions, collaborate, and keep reminding everyone what’s important.
So, that’s my plan to start this experiment! At the beginning of work each day, I’ll have a meeting with my “boss” to go over the small stuff (plan for the day) but also review the big stuff—the vision, answering the question “Why are we even doing any of this?”
Then, at the end of the day, I’ll check-in with my boss—What got done? What didn’t? My boss will ask me questions—What’s going well? What isn’t?
My boss will, of course, celebrate the awesome things I’ve done, pointing out what I’ve accomplished. But, more importantly, my boss will always, always help me stay focus on why I’m doing any of this.
Because I love practicing courage and learning a new thing. Because I love exploring what it means to live wholeheartedly—embracing both the yuck and delicious yum of this life.
Because I’m committed to using my words to help my fellow humans do the same.
Y’all there are SOOO many boss stories left on the cutting room floor of this post! 🤣 I’d love to one of hear yours! What have been some of your best, worst or weirdest boss moments? Comment below to share! (I promise not to read it when I’m supposed to be working… my boss wouldn’t like that.)
On leaving my job to move to another city my boss said “oh well, no one’s indispensable “.