My essay on rage and parenting has 800,000 views and counting

Who knew so many parents could relate?

Hey folks!

First, a hello and warm welcome to all the new subscribers who found their way here from my Huffington Post essay! It was an incredible journey writing and publishing it, and I’m excited to have you here.

And… if you have no idea what I’m talking about, last week HuffPo published an essay I wrote about the parallel journey of learning to manage my son’s rage while recovering my relationship with my own.

It’s been an incredible experience. Here’s a snippet. (I’ll link to the whole essay at the end.):

When my son was 4, I learned about the “basket hold.” What sounds like a method a mother would use to cradle a newborn baby is, in fact, a technique used to restrain a child who is so physically out of control that he’s a potential danger to himself and those around him.

Sitting behind my son, my legs wrapped around his, I’d hold his tiny wrists crisscrossed across his writhing body, pressing my head against the back of his shoulder to prevent him from landing a head butt. I’d hold him this way, “gently but firmly,” as the parenting books suggested, for anywhere from five to 15 minutes until, finally, the thrashing and screaming would stop. Then he’d happily resume his Lego building, and I’d slink away, trembling and baffled.

Other preschoolers had tantrums. My son raged. As he did, I struggled to maintain the cool veneer of calm that parenting gurus promised would soothe him. Once, I was so overwhelmed while fending off his ferocious slaps that I pushed him onto the bed and screamed, “What is wrong with you?!”

Remembering that moment — the fire running through my body, the shocked terror on his little face — absolutely kills me.

Last week the editor reached out to let me know it’s gotten over 800,000 views. (Maybe it’s a million by now?) Strangers from all over have been emailing me to share their own experiences. I’ve been using the word “overwhelming” a lot.

But, I also feel incredibly proud. I worked on this essay for over two years in some form or another. I worked and reworked my ideas through over a dozen drafts. It took a while to uncover and articulate the kernel of truth I wanted to express about what I’ve come to realize about being a “good mom.”

Also, hearing the stories parents are sharing with me has made me feel even more determined to keep writing about this topic. So many moms (and dads!) have shared with me that this writing has helped them feel seen.

I know how hard it is to feel like you’re the only parent who is struggling, or to feel like you’re a crappy parent because your kid is struggling so hard! ¹ I got my ADHD parent coach certification so I can help more parents figure out how to help their kids.

Read the whole essay on Huffington Post here. Then come back here and share your thoughts and your stories. Let’s acknowledge that being a mom can be so hard (and being human can be, too!).

1. If you’re in this place I strongly encourage you to friend me on Facebook (I’m going to be posting ADHD parenting tips there) and also follow my mentor Abigail Wald who is a wizard at parenting ND kids!