It was my second Father’s Day without a Dad… I’ve watched many of the elders in ny life pass this past year, and each time I lose one—a neighbor, a mentor—it’s like losing my dad again.
Love this piece, Marika. Perhaps fathers are getting more positive attention these days -- I've read several tributes to a father that brought tears, including yours. The father of my heart has been gone for so, so long, but this year, he's in my thoughts so vividly. Thank you for the reminder of such tender feelings.
My dad passed away on May 17. His birthday was April 17 and I always sent him a loving, slightly snarky birthday card. The year he died I got the card returned to me with one of those impersonal stamps "recipient no longer resides at this address."
It sucked in a lot of ways. It made the loss feel so raw and sharp. It reminded me there was a big hole in my heart that would never be filled.
On this year's Fathers Day I felt mostly warmth and appreciation for my dad's presence in my life. The grief lessens and shifts over time. But the grief is always there.
Wow, that must have stung. Language can really do that.
I find a bit of curiousity, though. If the "recipient no longer resides at the address," where does the recipient reside? Is he still "alive" for you somewhere? Maybe you could "write" him at that address?
Have you heard of wind phones? My friend used one and wrote about it and it seemed to be a healing experience... I might look and see if there's one near me!
It stung because it felt so final. Like if the Post Office has decided you no longer exist you officially no longer exist.
Re where he might exist now
A year after his death I performed a ritual (with a teacher) to see how my dad's spirit was doing. He was doing so well. He was very happy and vibrant. It felt wonderful to experience this. His spirit was welcomed into the greater community of his ancestors.
My dad is always with me in spirit. I hear his voice in my mind. When I want advice he's there to offer it. We have a good relationship.
As a corporeal human what I miss most are times where dad and I just hung out and talked about unimportant, random stuff. There are a lot of beautiful things about being able to communicate with those no longer alive but I still crave being in person with the other person. I don't get this back in this lifetime.
Never heard of wind phones but you've made me curious and I'm going to check them out!
It was my second Father’s Day without a Dad… I’ve watched many of the elders in ny life pass this past year, and each time I lose one—a neighbor, a mentor—it’s like losing my dad again.
Oof Susan, good point. Losing the dad-like figures does rekindle that loss feeling. I hope your grief is gentle with you this week. ❤️
Love this piece, Marika. Perhaps fathers are getting more positive attention these days -- I've read several tributes to a father that brought tears, including yours. The father of my heart has been gone for so, so long, but this year, he's in my thoughts so vividly. Thank you for the reminder of such tender feelings.
Thank you, Monica. It's beautiful to remember the love. ❤️
Much kindness and care to you Marika.
My dad passed away on May 17. His birthday was April 17 and I always sent him a loving, slightly snarky birthday card. The year he died I got the card returned to me with one of those impersonal stamps "recipient no longer resides at this address."
It sucked in a lot of ways. It made the loss feel so raw and sharp. It reminded me there was a big hole in my heart that would never be filled.
On this year's Fathers Day I felt mostly warmth and appreciation for my dad's presence in my life. The grief lessens and shifts over time. But the grief is always there.
Wow, that must have stung. Language can really do that.
I find a bit of curiousity, though. If the "recipient no longer resides at the address," where does the recipient reside? Is he still "alive" for you somewhere? Maybe you could "write" him at that address?
Have you heard of wind phones? My friend used one and wrote about it and it seemed to be a healing experience... I might look and see if there's one near me!
It stung because it felt so final. Like if the Post Office has decided you no longer exist you officially no longer exist.
Re where he might exist now
A year after his death I performed a ritual (with a teacher) to see how my dad's spirit was doing. He was doing so well. He was very happy and vibrant. It felt wonderful to experience this. His spirit was welcomed into the greater community of his ancestors.
My dad is always with me in spirit. I hear his voice in my mind. When I want advice he's there to offer it. We have a good relationship.
As a corporeal human what I miss most are times where dad and I just hung out and talked about unimportant, random stuff. There are a lot of beautiful things about being able to communicate with those no longer alive but I still crave being in person with the other person. I don't get this back in this lifetime.
Never heard of wind phones but you've made me curious and I'm going to check them out!
Yes, totally get all of this. Love that you “checked in” on your dad!